Saturday 10 May 2014

CINTA PANDANG PERTAMA ADALAH CINTA KEPADA IBU....

In the name of Allah The Most Merciful, The Most Beneficent.

I tried many times to write about my mom, but somehow it got stuck.

Somehow these stupid tears kept rolling down my cheeks.

So this time I will l just keep on going...no stopping....

Sedari kecil, ibu ku mahu menjadi seorang guru. Mahu mengikut  jejak langkah kakaknya yang merupakan guru pertama di kampung mereka.

Namun kecelakaan melanda apabila tentera Jepun menyerang dan menawan Tanah Melayu. Cita-cita ibuku terus luntur dan terkubur.

Ibuku memang hanya berumur 13 tahun namun pada zaman itu jika telah tamat darjah 6 boleh sahaja memohon masuk ke Maktab Perguruan Melayu. Dia mempunyai kelayakan tapi sayang keadaan kala itu tidak membenarkan.

Ibu terpaksa bekerja di sebuah kilang dan di situlah masa hadapan ibu berubah....

Tiap-tiap hari apabila ibu siap habis bekerja, ketika mahu pulang, seorang askar muda Jepun pasti mengikuti ibu hingga sampai ke rumah. ( Latar belakang ini lah yang memberi inspirasi kepada abangku untuk menulis skrip filem 'Embun' yang telah diarahkan oleh Erma Fatima dan dilakonkan oleh Umie Aida)

Keadaan ini amat membimbangkan ibu dan ayahnya lantaran tahu akan kekejaman tentera Jepun.Ibuku terpaksa berhenti bekerja serta merta. Lantas satu pencarian cemas dimulakan. Pencarian seorang suami untuk ibuku...

Akhirnya pencariann ditemui iaitu bapaku yang ketika itu sudah berumur 25 tahun. Alam remaja ibu tamat ketika ianya baru sahaja bermula. Ibu terpaksa menanggung perit realiti hidup pada usia yang terlalu muda.

12 orang. Itulah kami, anak2 ibu. Malangnya anak sulungnya hanya mampu hidup sehari sahaja. Kata ibu itu antara pengalaman paling sedih, kehilangan anak pertamanya. Malam demi malam ibu akan tidur bertemankan baju anak sulungnya.

Namun Allah Maha Kuasa digantikan dengan 11 orang lagi cahaya mata.

Kejerihan ibu membesarkan kami dalam serba kemiskinan walaupun ketika bapaku masih hidup. Gaji bapa tidak seberapa namun dengan rahmat Allah, ibu dan bapaku dapat memberi makan dan pelajaran kepada kami seadanya.

Ombak besar membadai ibu lagi, kala usianya baru di awal 40-an, bapaku meninggalkan dunia ini buat selamanya. Bayangkan ketika itu kami memang dalam kesempitan sedangkan adikku yang kecil baru berusia setahun.

Ramai yang meminta ibuku menyerah kan aku dan adikku kepada mereka lantaran tidak yakin ibu mampu membesarkan kami dengan sempurna. Namun kasih ibu tiada batasan. Sebelum ini, Ibu pernah dipaksa menyerahkan salah seorang anakknya. Betapa sedih dan perit perasaan itu. Ia tidak akan berlaku lagi. Ibu berjanji pada dirinya akan mengharungi hidup ini namun untuk menyerahkan anaknya, tidak sekali.

Mujur dengan rahmat Allah, kakakku baru memulai pekerjaannya sebagai seorang guru. Bagai menyambung cita2 asal ibuku. Bersama dengan kakakku itu, ibu membesarkan kami sehingga kami menjadi insan2 yang berjaya.

Pada akhir bulan Mac 2014, ibuku telah menghembus nafasnya yang terakhir, ketika aku berada di tempat yang paling suci di dunia di dalam Masjidil Haram.Walaupun tidak berada disisi ketika ibuku sedang nazak, namun aku berasa dia seumpama berada sangat dekat denganku di dalam Masjidil Haram. Moga segala doaku untuk ibuku dimakbulkan Allah Yang Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang. Aameen...

Aku tidak mungkin dapat melupakan kata-kata akhir ibu pada ku ketika aku meminta izin untuk berangkat ke tanah suci, "Aku sayang sangat kat hang...." dalam loghat Utara kami.

Mak, cek sangat-sangat sayang mak....Moga roh mak dilindungi Allah di alam barzakh dan dimasukkan dalam syurga Firdhaus selama-lamanya. Semoga Allah Yang Maha Kuasa mempertemukan kita di sana mak.

Aameen Ya Rabbal 'Alameen.


(Cinta kepada ibu adalah cinta pandang pertama sebab pabila sahaja kita dilahirkan dan membuka mata, wajah ibu adalah antara pertama kita tatapi. Dan sejak itu kita mencintai ibu kita sehingga keakhirnya...)
                 






  




Monday 17 February 2014



  May peace be upon you..

Stop thinking about what other people  say.

 As long as it is the right thing to do.

 Just do it!
           

Friday 7 February 2014

APA ERTI KEJAYAAN?


Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang


Apakah itu kejayaan?

Bagiku...

Kejayaan adalah kebahagian

Kejayaan adalah ketenangan

Kejayaan adalah upaya untuk tersenyum walau dalam kesempitan

Kejayaan adalah mendidik anak2 bukan sahaja untuk dunia tetapi untuk akhirat jua

Kejayaan adalah punya tubuh yang sihat

Kejayaan bukannya ada harta menimbun tetapi mengguna harta untuk merimbun kebaikan

Kejayaan bukanya bergulung-gulung ilmu tetapi memanfaatkan ilmu itu

Kejayaan ialah dapat merasa nikmat melihat, menyentuh dan menghirup udara alam

Kejayaan ialah menyayangi diri meski banyak kelemahan

Kejayaan ialah mengambil berat tentang orang lain dengan penuh kasih sayang

Kejayaan ialah keupayaan mendengar dengan akal dan hati

Kejayaan adalah bersyukur atas segala anugerah Nya
dan apa sahaja yang dilontarkan

Kejayaan adalah mendapat keredhaaan Tuhan

Kejayaan yang hakiki adalah pabila kaki melangkah masuk ke gerbang syurga yang abadi...

Aameen...


Tuesday 3 December 2013

FOOTSTEPS OF MY FATHER


In the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

My father was not rich. In fact he was quite poor. But he has a heart of gold. And I was only lucky enough to know him for just 3 years.

I do not have memories of my father like other people who are fortunate enough to have their fathers until they become adults. All I have in my memory of my father are like still pictures. Like photographs in an album.

However, there were two vivid "pictures" I distinctly remembered about him.

I remembered him playing his violin in front of our rented house in Penang. I was told by my mom that he was an avid musician. Loved music and sports too. Winning quite a few badminton tournaments in his hey days. He played other musical instruments like the piano, guitar, accordion...

When I was a kid, I found his two piece white suit buried somewhere underneath other old clothes. That was the suit he worn when he had a gig. I imagined him wearing the white suit which is starched and ironed immaculately... and playing the grand piano on a grand ship. How I wish I could hear him play.

Unfortunately being a musician could not bring enough money to support his big family. There were eleven of us. So he had to work hard in the docks, under the sweltering heat to feed us. He cycled almost 10 km a day to his workplace and another 10km to get home. His skin sun burnt. His face gaunt.

Yet my mother told me if he came back from work and found one of us sick, he would immediately take us to see the doctor. I could imagined how exhausted he was but I guess a father's love knows no boundaries. Love can overcome even exhaustion.    

Sadly...the other "picture" I remembered of him was on the day of his death. I remembered him lying there...in my grandmother's house, like he was sleeping...with a faint smile on his lips. I remembered my five year old sister crying uncontrollably ( which is strange because she said she didn't remember anything) . She was my father's favourite daughter. And my brother playing marbles under our stilt house...oblivious to the  surroundings.

So every time I return to my place of birth , Penang...I would imagine seeing my father in every nook and corner of the island. At the docks, at Padang Kota Lama, at the old mosque, at the village, at the Kopitiam, even imagining seeing him on the streets  cycling to go back home from work.

 Even when we had moved out from Penang and in my adolescent years,I used to go back to my kampong, I was amused when the villagers used to stop me and asked.."Anak Pak Haroon?" (Are you Haroon's daughter?) even years after my father passed away. He must be very famous! He must have done something really good...for people to still remember him.





Wednesday 13 November 2013

FIFTY DOLLARS...


In the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful

Yes...It is true. This is the answer to a question a sister posed.

The question was...

Why do we feel that $50 worth so much  when we want to give sadaqa in a mosque and if we want to give, it is with a heavy heart? 
But the same amount of money of $50 feel so small when we want to spend in a shopping mall?

What's wrong with us?

The problem is... we are materialistic. We can only see that our money and our wealth can buy worldly goods. And it is never enough...

Yet at the same time...if we give sadaqa, we feel like we are losing and not gaining anything.
Because we cannot see what we are gaining through our eyes. We become blind and we are blind.

The truth is...sadaqa does not decrease our wealth instead it increases it.

Believe this...for every cent we spent in sadaqa, Allah will reward us bountiful more not just in this world but in the hereafter.

So...if you just happen to have that $50 in your pocket, why don't you put the money in the donation box in your local mosque instead of spending it in the mall.

You will get back a lot more....




Thursday 31 October 2013

KEEP COOL..CHILL OUT





May peace be upon you


A father was concerned about his son who has an anger management problem. The son got angry almost everyday. He will  shout profanities to anyone in front of him.

One day, the father said to his son, "Son, every time you feel anger welled up, go to the barn. Take with you a hammer and some nails."

"Then drive in the nails using the hammer until you feel satisfied."

So...every time the son feels angry, he takes the hammer and drives in the nails on the walls of the barn.

After one month, the father said to the son, "This time..pull out all the nails..."

Even though he felt peculiar, he just followed his father's instruction.

"What can you see on the walls, son."

"The walls are full of holes and they look rather ugly."

"Son..what you see is the effect of anger. When you get angry at someone you will not only hurt them but yourself. They might forgive you but the hurt might not go away. The wounds you inflicted on them might heal, but the scars may stay forever. And you also hurt yourself by becoming a bitter and unhappy person."

Anger can consume a man just like fire.

May Allah bless us with patience and calmness.




Tuesday 29 October 2013

TOMORROW STARTS TODAY...


In the name of Allah The Most Beneficent The Most Merciful


Sometimes I wonder why do we worry about the future. The fact is we  cannot predict the future. Que sera...sera...whatever will be, will be, the future is not ours to see...

I used to sing that song over and over again when I was kid. But...I really didn't even understand what it means.

 We really do not know what the future holds for us. So, why do we worry?

I am a pathetic worrier...I wish I'm a warrior instead. But I'm not. I was preoccupied worrying about so many things and so many reasons. Then I realized that most of the things that I worried about didn't happen.

So...I just wasted a lot of my precious time worrying about nothing. I am still a worrier..a bit. Just can't help it...a habit if you like.

The truth of the matter is...the most important thing that we have to worry is ....now.

The key to the future is...now.

What we decide, what we do NOW affects the future. So the thing that really matter is the people and the the problems we are facing at present.

Don't worry about the future...it has already been decided today.